Most conflicts are the result of communication problems. As a mediator, I observe people using blocks that get in the way of our ability to fully listen and hear what is said. In this article, the final in this series, I discuss three listening blocks: playing devil’s advocate, agreeing with everything and talking too much. If you can identify with any of these, you are in good company! As with Part 1 and Part 2 in the series on blocks to effective listening, I show how you can avoid each one.
Listening problems are at the heart of most communication-related conflicts. My first article on this topic covered four blocks to listening: distractions, unsolicited advice, assumptions and toxic positivity. In this piece, the second in a series, I discuss six more blocks to effective listening: rehearsing, filtering, derailing, defensiveness, judging and comparing. While most of us have used blocks identified in this series, I offer strategies for avoiding each one.
Most people engage our mediation services for conflicts involving communication problems. Poor listening is often at the epicenter of communication-related conflicts. After 25 years as a practicing mediator, I have compiled a list of “blocks” that get in the way of our ability to listen effectively. When I began diving into this subject, I realized there is more than one article’s worth of information share, so I’ve divided this subject into three articles. Here’s the good news: I have seen people build their listening skills and learn how to overcome these pitfalls. Under each listening block, I provide helpful tips on how to avoid them.
