A client recently asked me for some strategies to engage in conflict without appearing angry. As I’ve said in previous articles, it’s no secret that most people fear conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. Managing our anger can be challenging at times. Most people either become defensive or worse, they’re boiling internally while trying to appear calm. Skilled mediators develop practical strategies to avoid being pulled into the emotional whirlpool of our clients’ conflicts.
Very few of us engage in conflicts with confidence and ease. In fact, most people fear conflict. Conflict avoiders are all around us. So are conflict magnets, or people who seem to thrive on drama and conflict. They don’t stir things up because they enjoy conflict. Typically, they’re not skilled at engaging appropriately in conflict, and internal triggers fuel actions that inflame conflicts. Conflict isn’t typically in anyone’s comfort zone, but there are strategies to help us be more resilient in conflicts.
Even the best conflict engagement professionals can be blindsided by an occasional toxic exchange. Despite how fantastic a day may start, a few harsh words can catch us off-guard, leaving us feeling defensive, angry or belittled. You can keep difficult people from bringing you down with them and poisoning your well. There are surprisingly effective strategies for bouncing back and preventing conflicts from getting the best of you.
I’ll walk you through an example from my own experience.
